WHAT I COULD DO...

Well life is full of things that are completely unreasonable and really intimidating.  The further I surround myself with delightful and predictable occurances the further I am placed from real objectives.  So here is the list of could the underlying ability or potential that may never come into fruition.
I could get my portfolio together in such a way that would shock and amaze all potential design hiring staff. I could rebuild another loom and start a  rag rug company that would smash the minds of on-lookers to a point they would be willing to buy a beautiful rug for a price that would break the bank.  I could get a teaching degree and grow old with three month off each year and slowly but inevitable learn to hate youth and be unable to pass along any useful knowledge.  I could get an artist residency then become stricken with anxiety to a point of complete failure and need to move away entirely-which might be good thing.  What can one continue to do?  I start to thing of the folks I know and wonder: will they be ding that forever?  I think economics is against us and the idea of comfort and consistency is dead.  There must always be change and an upbeat rhythm to life and work.  My life is joyful but I feel the need for change I just hope the work tide is ready for me.

Jet lag Nausea

The heat boils and the humidity is thick.  I feel the slimy oil being puked out on the sides of my nose.  The summer hurt is here and the days are longer.  I look forward to the longer days, until I realize the obstacle of burning out the day light, staying optimistic till the sun goes down and maintaining a summer energy that is acceptable.  Perhaps longer daylight is just away to exhaust the already tired and broken people.  Now when I eat I feel sick is it the heat or the jet lag?