Naturalizing

Recycling, Bathing, Getting Pedicures, Reading Books, Joining organized social institutions such as book clubs or softball teams.  IS LIFE THIS BORING, where did the optimism and energy go?  I am merely planning out every boring moment by the next obligation-vaguely hoping for a a new story or a strange interaction.  Why can't a slightly over weight mother of four tell me she used to turn tricks in the New York subway?  Why can't I find a bug that is carrying a joint on its back?  Where do I meet the strange and confused---I just want to fit in... please?

Contemplating waxing strange parts or rearranging a living space---starting to watch television--wondering what the hell the youth are doing with all that damn technology at their finger tips!!

I want to revert back to the fresh-juicy beginning of aspiration.  Where was it when things were exciting and worth the further research.  The introduction of subject matter into a conversation, the gumption of uncharted conversational territories, discussions of the color puke orange,  Stupid Aesthetics

Coffee so dark it's purple

With the grounds being present and the sludge at the bottom of a perfectly constructed cup, I sip the first believable energy of the day.  Everything before was false--the agony of leaving the bed, the stumbling for slippers, the cursing at the dogs.  My assist down the back stairs to let the dogs out was foggy.  The morning is a shit basket.  The only real solution is maximum caffeine, a jolt into action, with leads to the hurling power to continue on with my unplanned day.

The first effect of coffee on the body is false optimism.  The original head rush and quickness of the hands then comes the guttural feeling dark down from one too many beers from the night before.  The seeping regret of the pickled okra making its way across the landscape that is your intestines.  Coffee enlivens the reflexes of the digestive process that needs no real help from my liquid of love.  The morning is a shit basket.