Sunday, February 15, 2015

I ain't young no more

Making of friends is a joke and I ain't gonna have no children so the party seems like I am faking it,
Maybe I just don't want to fake it.
Human kind will continue despite my constant internal rant against bringing more life into this world.
It is all a selfish thing.... Selfish to think a baby in the genetic likes of you is important,,,
Selfish for me to want my time and not be willing to change diapers and feel guilty

Humanity will continue we are animals after all.  The primal needs to thrust at one another will always over power the rational thinking of failing economics and starvation around the corner. The human genetic pull is important for survival.


When times get tough get to loving.


As you are loving I will be hunkering down trying to figure out what to do with a life that has no real meaning without a love for humanity.  I have created my own emotional paradox, A person has to have some attachment to the young in order to have any hope at all even within their own life span.  I need the youth to have more compassion and hope than I do for my own well being and the cycle of selfishness continues.


My own personal selfishness.


What is a woman to do that is missing the baby clock.  There is not enough sorrow in my life or wanting for humanity, just another mundane existence.  Trying to create as an artist is a funny joke who needs more stuff? The Big Lots shelves are full of rugs why weave any more.  The thrift stores are packed with clothing. There is no need to pretend like fashion is not just being recycled again. When you feel young but the cellulite grows like nasty pockets attached to your thighs.  And the eyes of others are averted, appropriately.  You have become a nasty thing.


Red faced and swelling at the seams.